Animal Planet
by Sweetdeath04 and Thorney
Summary: The Doctor, Rose and Mickey arrive on a planet where animal intelligence is equal to that of humans, yet humans still reign supreme. With the Animals ready to stage an uprising the travellers are forced to decide who will be the best rulers, man or beast?
1. Introduction Pigs Might Fly

Disclaimer: No owning going on here….. We don't own it. We don't own anything here, whether it is Dr Who or Animal Farm/Planet.

_**Animal Planet**_

**Introduction: Pigs Might Fly**

"Hold on!" The Doctor yelled as the TARDIS lurched violently.

Both Rose and Mickey were thrown from their feet, landing on top of each other. The Doctor stared down at them incredulously.

"This is hardly the time or the place!"

Rose glared at him as she shoved Mickey off her, "Well if it weren't for your terrible driving! I could do better than this! Do you even have a license?"

"Like you could do better!" Mickey exclaimed as he rushed to the Doctor's side to assist him, "You're a woman!" he shot a smug glance at the Doctor who (much to Rose's annoyance) returned it. Rose was about to protest but she knew that if she did she would be interrupting a 'masculine moment'.

It had been interesting having Mickey along for the ride. At the beginning he had been overwhelmed, but both Rose and the Doctor agreed that he had handled the clockwork droid killing spree better than they had expected. He was learning.

"Taking her down!" the Doctor called over his shoulder from the consol. Rose felt the TARDIS rest against the ground and realised they had survived yet another one of the Doctor's dramatic landings.

"The last you was a much safer driver!" she taunted. As she expected, the Doctor ignored her.

Mickey darted to the door, full of enthusiasm. He didn't even bother to ask where they had landed. Rose however had to know. As Mickey disappeared out the door she approached the Doctor.

"So, where are we?"

He smiled at her with his winning smile, "I know we're in the 51st century on a planet called Kharness… with a silent 'H'. But, as to what is outside that door… I haven't the foggiest!"

Rose couldn't help but give a small laugh, "Well then, there's only one way to find out," she started towards the TARDIS door, "You comin'?"

"I'll be out in a moment. Go find Mickey, who knows what kind of trouble he might get into if you're not there to watch him!"

Rose was already leaving. She opened the door and stepped out into the sunlight. She saw now that the TARDIS was parked at the bottom of a big hill. The land around was all green grass. Rose could see trees at the other side of what appeared to be a field. Looking up she saw Mickey's still figure at the top of the hill. She jogged up to stand beside him. As she came closer he still didn't move and she saw that his jaw was hanging open.

Finally she came to the crest of the hill and saw what lay before them. She couldn't believe what she saw, or rather she could. She had seen some strange sights while travelling with the Doctor. But this was on of the most absurd.

On the other side of the hill Rose could see farm buildings that were rather close. Attached to the nearest of these buildings was an out door pig sty. But this was no ordinary pig sty. At first Rose believed that she saw children rolling around in the mud. But when she squinted she saw that her eyes betrayed her. What she saw in the sty were not children but pigs. Fully clothed pigs. Pigs that carried walking sticks and smoked pipes. Pigs that were talking loudly and raucously in posh English accents that sounded so over the top that Rose was such they were fake.

"Jolly good mud today!" the nearest one squealed at his fellows, "All most as good as the stuff that we have at the club!"

"Indeed!" proclaimed another with a loud 'oink', "Nothing like a spot of mud to cool down in all this heat."

Another pig pulled the muddy remains of a newspaper out of the dirt and relit his pipe suggesting, "Croquet later?"

All the others grunted in agreement. Their grunts sounded like laughter to Rose.

"Well would you look at that!" The Doctor came up over the hill and stood beside Rose.

"That isn't possible!" Rose spluttered.

"Why not?" The Doctor asked her, "You saw the cats on new earth!"

"But, that was different," Rose gestured at the pigs, "They were slightly human… those are pigs!"

"If those are pigs… then pigs fly," Mickey said. Both Rose and The Doctor turned to him. They didn't know if he was trying to be funny or whether it hadn't sunk in hat he was seeing yet.

Rose looked back at the sty, "Well by the looks of things they can do everything else, so I wouldn't put it past them to spread their wings and fly."

"Don't be ridiculous Rose!" The Doctor said, "They're still purely piggy…or would that be piggish?" he continued on one of his little rants.

"But…" Mickey said, still completely away with the fairies, "This can not be _real_!"

The Doctor turned to him. The look on his face was only half serious, "Course it can," he said simply, then he smiled, "Haven't you read 'Animal Farm'?"

**A.N. **_This is our first Doctor Who fic and we are ecstatic to be starting it! _

**Thorney; The last episode of the 2nd series moved me to tears! We weren't ready to give up Rose yet. So we started this! SWEETDEATH04 IS HEARTLESS SHE DIDN'T CRY!**

_SD04: Oh don't give me that heart of stone nonsense again… I'm refusing to watch that episode EVER again 'cause it was so depressing! I wouldn't go to sleep on Saturday night until I forced it out of my head! Anyways, I'm not ready to give up Rose either!_

Hope this does Dr Who justice! Please R&R!

_**Sweetdeath04 and Thorney** _


	2. Not Quite Human

Disclaimer; we don't own Doctor Who, Animal Farm or Animal Planet or Dracula. Plain and simple.

**Not Quite Human**

With that the Doctor strode off down the hill towards the pigs. Rose and Mickey watched him go for a second before hurrying after him.

The Doctor came right up to the fence before the pigs acknowledged that he existed. When they finally noticed him their grunting laughter promptly stopped and they turned up their snouts at him.

"Hello!" The Doctor said brightly, "I'm The Doctor, and this is Rose, "he said as Rose approached the pen slowly, "and that ugly bloke over there, that's Mickey."

Mickey was too nervous to defend himself and when all the pigs turned momentarily to look at him, he blanched.

The pigs turned back to the Doctor again.

"What do you want human?" the pig with the pipe proclaimed, spitefully, "this is our home, you have no right to be here…unless," he added as an after thought, "You're not here to collect the rent are you?"

"First off," the Doctor said tetchily, "I'm not human, why does everyone always think I'm human?" he asked turning to Rose who managed a small smile, "Secondly, I'm not here to collect the rent."

The atmosphere around the pen grew the tiniest bit more friendly; however it was still pretty tense.

"Well what do you want?" The pig rolling on the ground blurted out.

"Just wanted to say hello!"

The pigs stared at him as if he was spluttering gibberish.

"_Humans_," the pig with the pipe said, almost angrily, "Do not come here 'just to say hello'!"

With that as if a silent order had been given, all the pigs turned around and sat with their backs to the travellers, shunning them.

"FOR THE LAST TIME!" The Doctor yelled at their backs, "I'M NOT HUMAN!"

Quickly, he led Rose and Mickey away from the pen, towards the other buildings.

"What was all that about?" Mickey asked.

Rose was surprised to see the Doctor look slightly angry, "I only have theories. Nothing concrete yet," he said as he sank slightly into a concealed pool of mud, "Country life eh?" he said wiping converses on the grass.

Rose smiled. Only the Doctor could go from being a storm cloud to a ray of sunshine in a matter of a few milliseconds.

They approach what appeared to be the main barn of the farm. Mickey paused behind the other two, unsure whether they should enter someone's property without permission. But Rose and the Doctor just strode to the door and went inside without a word. Mickey sighed and followed.

If they had thought the pigs strange, they were in for a shock.

All manner of farm animal could be found in this barn. They walked past a couple of different stalls. In the first they found a ewe with her two lambs. The sheep was sitting in a rocking chair wearing slippers and telling her children a story. In her hooves she clutched two knitting needles and she appeared to be making socks…out of her own wool.

In the next stall two old cows were debating the falling stock market. The chickens were nearly all wearing spectacles and gossiping like fishwives in the hay.

Ducks waddled about the barn chasing each other and yelling loud insults at each other. None of the animals appeared to have noticed the arrival of the travellers. Then suddenly, two ducks came tearing straight for them. It was clear one was chasing the other.

"I'll have you!" the duck who was doing the chasing yelled, "You'll be Christmas dinner you will!" Still oblivious to Rose, the Doctor and Mickey's existence the ducks waddled quickly towards them. The first weaved its way easily through the forest of legs, but the second was not so quick. It slammed straight into the Doctor's shin, causing him to step back.

The duck was dazed for a minute before looking up. He registered the three new arrivals and yelled at the top of his lungs;

"**HUMANS!" **

The entire barn went quiet. Quiet enough for Rose could hear the Doctor mutter, "I'm not a human, I'm not a human," over and over again.

Every eye in the barn was now on them. No animal spoke or moved. Rose felt very, very awkward. She had to break the ice. The duck that had collided with the Doctor's leg still lay on the ground. Picking him up cautiously she cooed, as if to a baby, "Aren't you the cutest little thing ever!"

Her efforts were rewarded by getting her fingers bitten and the duck spitting violently in her face. As she set him back on the ground a bunch of cheers went up from the other animals but over the ruckus she heard Mickey whisper, "I didn't think ducks could spit!"

"Obviously on this planet they do!" The Doctor was trying not to laugh at Rose's discomfort.

"Now really, that's enough!" All the animals went quiet again as a commanding voice rang through the barn. A large horse had just entered through a back door. The Doctor, Rose and Mickey heard the 'clip-clop' of hooves and turned to see the huge Shire horse approach. In fact, he was the biggest horse any of them had ever seen. As black as coal, his mane and tail were streaked with grey in contrast. Obviously, he was a horse that had gone slightly to seed in old age. He wore a rusty red waistcoat that had clearly been specially made for a horse. A monocle was fixed to his left eye and a golden watch on a chain hung from his pocket.

Rose couldn't help but think that if he hadn't been a horse he would have been a stereotypical grandfather.

"Greetings, greetings!" the horse said as he approached, "You are most welcome!"

Despite the greeting that they had received from the other animals, the companions knew that this horse meant what he said. There was no hint of sarcasm or loathing from him, only a well meant hello, much likes that of the Doctor when he had first come across the pigs.

"Hello!" The Doctor said again in the same bright tone, "I'm the-"

"Doctor! Yes, the pigs have just informed me!" The horse spoke calmly and collectively with every syllable, "and I believe that this would be Miss Rose and Master Mickey, am I right?"

Rose and Mickey nodded, unsure of what to say.

"Capital!" The horse exclaimed. He glanced over the Doctor's shoulder and around the barn at the other animals, "There is nothing to see here. Back to your business!"

The animals turned away at once. All the baby animals in the barn said in perfect rhyme, "Yes Master Arthur!"

The Doctor addressed the horse, "Arthur?"

"Yes! My name is Master Arthur, I am the…um leader, for lack of a better word, of the animals here."

The Doctor, Mickey and Rose exchanged knowing glances. This wasn't the first time they had met a horse named Arthur on their travels.

"It's a pleasure to meet you," Arthur offered his hoof for the Doctor to shake. The Doctor had to use both hands to support the weight of the massive foot.

"I don't mean to be rude," said Mickey cautiously, lowering his voice, "But are there any…_people_ around here?"

Arthur chuckled deep in his throat, "Yes, if you mean humans, that is. They are our landlords. I shall take you to meet them. We get very few travellers around here so they will be honoured to accommodate you."

Arthur led them out the door and back into the sweltering heat. As they walked Arthur explained to them that they were on Boothia Farm, a very famous and well respected farm in the area.

As they approached the farm house the door opened to reveal a man that they assumed was Farmer Boothia.

"Hello there!" he said. He sounded happy, but not in the friendly way of Arthur. He sounded creepy and slimy. Rose and Mickey were both reminded of the old vampire movies where Dracula welcomes his unknowing guests to his castle.

"Please come in, Rose! Welcome Mickey!" He motioned them into the house. The pair were beginning to realise that news travelled fast here. They entered the house and waited for the Doctor to follow. He came to the door but his way was suddenly barred by the farmer.

"Hello!" the Doctor said AGAIN, "I'm the-"

"Doctor. I know," Boothia said. Any happy tone that had once been in his voice had gone, "You were the one yelling at my pigs about not being human, yes?"

The Doctor looked ecstatic, "YES! Finally someone understands-"

But before he could finish his sentence, Boothia had slammed the door in his face. The Doctor turned to Arthur, stunned.

"What just happened?"

Arthur sighed and came as close as he could to a shrug, "You have said it yourself, you're not human. That makes you an animal. Therefore you are forbidden from human dwellings."

The Doctor stared for a long moment, "You are joking right." He didn't wait for an answer before he turned and banged on the door, "Rose! Mickey! C'mon get him to let me in!"

On the other side of the door, Rose and Mickey were just as shocked. Boothia was acting as if nothing was wrong as the Doctor furiously tried to break down the door.

"You really aren't going to let him in are you?" Mickey asked Boothia.

"He's an animal. He has to sleep in the barn with the other animals! I don't want him in here on my furniture!" Boothia spoke as if the idea of letting the Doctor in was absurd.

"But he's our friend!" Rose protested. Now her feelings towards the Farmer had gone from mild dislike to something much stronger, "He's basically human!"

From outside, they heard the Doctor howl, "NO I'M NOT!"

Rose groaned. The Doctor's pride was not helping the situation at all.

"Basically human isn't _pure _human," Boothia said. With that he removed the keys from the locked door and strode off into another room. Rose and Mickey where helpless and had no choice but to leave the Doctor hammering on the door.

He didn't stop for about fifteen minutes. When he finally gave up he slumped against the door rubbing his red and splintered fists.

Arthur came over to comfort him but it was no use. Just as the Doctor thought it couldn't get any worse the heavens opened and rain poured down from the grey sky.

He let out a groan of despair. He wished he was inside with his friends. Being the only one left out in the cold was never nice. And unfortunately this was not the first time it had happened to him.

Arthur sighed through the rain, "Come my friend. Let us find you a stall."

**A.N** _We love this Chapter! Hope you enjoy it!_

_We got to go now because SD04 and Thorney have to part company. It is unlikely that we will be able to update any stories until August as both will be doing a lot of travelling but we hope that you guys can cope with our absence. R&R! THANX!_

**_Thorney & Sweetdeath04 _**


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